Jelly Roll Gum Drop

Mar 5, 2011 | Uncategorized

I got my eyes on you

There we are then; on Thursday evening I walked away from the Civil Service having cleared my desk, my IT account and handed in my pass. I have a letter reminding me that I signed the Official Secrets Act in 1983 and another telling me when my official pension kicks in. Last night I had a night out with some colleagues and drank too much and today, amongst other things I evicted some well worn shirts and ties from my wardrobe.

Of course in reality I am “between jobs” for a period.  It is too soon to put something together reflecting on twenty seven and a half years working for the Government, I need a period of reflection to distill some of that and in any event, as I said to a few people last night, I don’t like to leave burning boats behind me.

What is important to me, though, is periodically to lose some baggage and reinvent myself.  The last time I did this was in 1999/2000 when I left Registers of Scotland and transfered to the Scottish Executive.  Of course that move still had the safety net of being in the public sector.

for Aqualungs everywhere

Michelle Shocked sang long ago that “The secret to a long life is knowing when it’s time to go” and that’s as good a way as I know to say why I’m happy to be moving on now.  There are other things underpinning my thinking of course but in the end it all comes down to it being the right time.

I like to have a relationship between what I do and who I think I am.  A friend whom I haven’t seen for quite a while now used to say at work “this is what I do not who I am” but that isn’t a situation I like to be in.  It worked for him but not for me; so if what I do and who I think I am become too far apart then it is time to change.

So reinvention means deconstructing and paring away the things that don’t fit for me and putting myself in a situation where I can effectively take what is useful from what has been and challenge myself to develop in a new situation which is more stimulating, even if it is simultaneously uncomfortable and risky.  That’s what keeps it real and interesting.