Aug 10, 2025 | Cancer
I’ve had some kind and thoughtful private comments on the last post here about my prostate cancer. I appreciate them all but I am interested that I’ve been called brave for writing about it so publicly.
It hadn’t occurred to me that I am being brave and I’m not convinced that I am. I fully understand that for many people their medical situation is intensely personal and I respect that choice completely, but I also think that facing a serious medical condition is a valid, and perhaps vital, subject both for blogging and for creative writing, because I see creativity as resistance. (Incidentally, although I am towards the lower end of the potential gradings for cancer and although I am positive about the future, I am also aware that it is a serious condition that has to be respected and not taken lightly.)
But there are two further things on my mind. One is that I want to encourage people to get tested and I can’t do that by keeping it to myself. The second is that pretty much the first thing I did was to go online and look for information on what I could expect. As with all things on the internet, separating signal and noise was difficult until I figured out some trusted sources; I want to get my experience out there so that anyone else who has just received a call from their doctor and is searching online to find out more might find what I write and get information and, perhaps, comfort from it. Cancer, or potential cancer, is scary and good information and stories of personal experiences are fundamental to taking a deep breath and figuring out how to respond.
It is also true, I find, that people take their cue from me; it helps that I am calm and measured – and a lot of that comes from getting the best information that I can.
There is good information online, including YouTube, from the UK, Australia and the US, but all three have different medical systems in place and that comes through particularly when discussing procedures (and, in the US, costs); I want to add my ongoing experience to – hopefully – trusted UK resources and to do that I need to be as open and honest as possible (or sensible) here. So expect more updates over the coming months.
One feature of prostate cancer is that understanding of it and potential treatment approaches are changing all the time and quite rapidly. It is important, therefore, to have up to date information (which is a problem with YouTube and older resources there.) In the UK, by the way, I have found the following helpful places to start:
https://www.prostatescotland.org.uk/
https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information-and-support
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/prostate-cancer/
https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/prostate-cancer
https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/cancer/cancer-types-in-adults/prostate-cancer/
Aug 8, 2025 | Cancer
As, I think, any regular reader of this blog will know (because I have told you privately) I have prostate cancer. I found out this was a possibility as early as January but until recently it was only a suspicion; it might have had a benign explanation and I didn’t want to worry too many people. However the diagnosis is in.
To be precise my cancer is Gleason 3+4 (prognostic grade 2 [T2C]); it is entirely within the prostate, predominantly on the right side. It has been found early and is very treatable.
In this post I will outline how I got to this point; in subsequent posts I’ll keep readers informed of some decisions I have to make and how they turn out. Now that I know what is happening I intend to be quite open about everything and also to suggest to men of a certain age that they should consider talking to their doctors about getting tested; I’d also like to encourage the significant others of men of a certain age that they might want to encourage their men to talk to their doctor. Almost certainly they, like me, will have no obvious symptoms. A PSA test is not diagnostic and is not without its issues, but it is a first step to being better safe than sorry.
I want to say clearly that I had no abnormal symptoms such as issues with urine flow or waking up several times at night to go to the bathroom.
Last November I had a UTI that got out of control. A routine follow up after that on 3 Jan 2025 showed that my PSA was high but that is to be expected after a serious UTI. The protocol is to wait 4 weeks and take another PSA reading; the second time, it had fallen but was still high and that triggers an automatic referral to Urology at the hospital. An ultrasound scan showed that my kidney function is normal but my prostate is sufficiently enlarged for that to be a plausible explanation in itself for the high PSA. A small area of what might have been calcification was observed on the ultrasound.
The consultant did some more tests and recommended a parametric MRI scan to see what was going on. When the result came through, he ‘phoned to say that there was nothing on the MRI that was clearly cancer and he continued to think that the most likely issue was benign prostate enlargement. However, to be on the safe side, he recommended biopsies to confirm that interpretation.
It was the transperineal biopsies that found the cancer. That possible calcification was a lesion. I heard this week that a subsequent isotopic bone scan revealed no spread.
The excellent clinical nurse specialist who conducted the biopsies, Karen, later took me through the results, the headline being that it was ‘bog-standard acinar adenocarcinoma with “no funky stuff”‘. I took care to make sure that I wasn’t hearing only what I wanted to hear and the message is ‘found early, no spread, treatable.’
The treatment options open to me are either surgery to remove the prostate entirely or a period of hormone treatment followed by a course of external beam radiotherapy. I am keeping an open mind on this and have discussions scheduled with both the surgeon and the oncologist. I will likely make a decision in September. Had this been any other type of cancer or had my cancer been higher grade things would, of course, move a lot faster but I’m pleased to have time to talk this through with the clinical team and make informed decisions that take account my feelings and preferences. In principle I think it is open to me to discuss taking no active steps at all but simply to keep an eye on things for a while, but I’d rather face it head on.
A potential cancer diagnosis induces all sorts of emotions, as you might imagine. I had my dark nights of the soul in January but have been fine since then, although I’ve made some lifestyle decisions that readers will no doubt find out about in due course. Those decisions can be summarised as follows:
Now that the verdict is in
And I am sentenced to life,
It seems I have to decide
How to live and, more, how to thrive.
Cancer focuses my thoughts,
Isolates the here and now,
What matters and what does not,
What should stay and what can go.
And since by life’s algebra
I am now well past half way
Across my allotted span
(This I accept, come what may),
Therefore, I have made this vow:
For whatever years remain
I’ll let my inhibitions go,
For, face it, if not now when?
The medical process throughout has been professional, thorough and caring. The only unpleasant procedure was the transperineal biopsy (under local anaesthetic) but, as the nurses said when it was over, it saves lives and without it I would not know the cancer was present.
I will write more later, but I’m at 860 words and that’s enough for now. I must say to finish, though, that I’ve received lots of lovely messages of support and I appreciate them all.
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